The Shame Game

The Sad Link Between a Golf Ball and the Promotional Stress Ball

When I think of teeing off on hole 1 with the shame of the next 17 embarrassing attempts to elevate myself over my fellow players, I always cringe at the prospect. What should be a leisurely walk in park-like surrounds with a good natured array of friends, always ends up a frantic, thrashing (threshing?), wallowing, loud, public display of inner ADHD. picture of a promotional stress ball golf ballIt makes a mockery of the Zen like images of golfers ambling around a glorified garden, at one with nature and in harmony with the physics of trajectory and Newton’s first law of Physics.

The stark contrast in my mind whenever I lift a golf club brings out a hive like rash from the tip of my Faldo to the top of my Ballesteros. It’s a stressful occasion whichever way you look at it; whether it’s my childlike antics on the first 9, the humiliation in the clubhouse listening to others bragging of their birdies and eagles, to the deep self loathing I stumble upon somewhere in the ruff out there in the back 9 – it’s not a memory I treasure.

superman-golfBut then on one such degrading escapade, a good friend, Rick revealed his secret weapon out there on the Fairway…and it’s a little embarrassing due to the fact I sell these promotional items on a daily basis! In his trouser pocket was a little promo hero, just small enough to evade detection but mighty enough to help slay even the most ardent of competition in our group. Between hits, Rick would reach into his pants and squeeze a promotional stress ball, almost mutilating it whenever he felt the urge to rearrange the green. Not only did it restore his inner Karma that makes him such a good, strident golfer but it magically helps loosen up his wallet at the 19th hole.

Cue the 1930’s radio announcer: “Promotional Stress Balls; branded with your message or logo. Keeping Golf Courses a place of tranquility, restoring mental fortitude and balance, providing reassurance in moments of extreme stress and degradation of spirit.”

Thanks Rick…”and why not!” – Happy Birthday dude.